Teach me your ways, OH LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I will fear your name.

Psalm 86:11

I will be your God throughout your lifetime until your hair is white in age. I made you, and I will care for you. I willI will be your God throughout your lifetime until your hair carry you along and save you.

Isaiah 46:4




Blessed is the man whose quiver is full.... Psalm 127:5


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.


Proverbs 3:5-6




Tuesday, November 15, 2011

thankful

This month we all tend to focus on what we are most thankful for. Pure awesomeness if you want my opinion-- i figure you wouldn't be here reading this if you didn't care about my opinions.

I promised that i would update you on all the craziness as soon as i could, but just know that in the end i will post, gratefully, a happy ending.

Going back to work was a huge change at my house, not to mention i got several part-time jobs, which added to the juggling act. I work at "Bath and Body Works", "Gymboree Corp", and doing Childcare at the church i attend for Real women's bible study. With out telling you which of these jobs the story is directly related too, i will tell you that it was not the church.

I went to work for a regular scheduled shift and was contacted about being under a Loss Prevention investigation. Meaning that i was on probation until it was resolved. originally they told me that i had 72 hours from notification to resolve the matter-- since this was on a Friday i fought for the 72 hours not to begin until the following business day. Hesitantly they agreed and so my journey began. LP notified me of 3 criminal charges that were showing up on my background check, red flagging me in the "non-hire" category.

Joel and I began to search on the Internet for what we could find in public record about someone with a name similar to mine, or county records that matched the alleged crimes. Very scary! There is someone with my name and birth date. Well, 19 women with my birth date and name. Just in Indiana. 1200 Nationwide.

The more we googled my name the more we were creeped out by what we found. We did find the crimes that were showing up on my check and were able to find out which agencies to contact for more information. First thing Monday morning i contacted the court house-located in Indiana, a state i have never even been too-- and wrote down all of the necessary information they needed to verify that it wasn't me.
  • $10 money order for processing
  • 2 $5 finger print cards that i have to obtain from the county sheriff's office (a place i cannot take my children therefore requiring me to also get a babysitter)
  • a letter with my social security number, my full name at birth, and explanation of what i was disputing
  • copy of my marriage license to prove my name change

So i was spending money while i was on probation from my job, please note.

I was supposed to have been emailed the copy of the information my employer received immediately after our initial phone conversation, but that didn't happen. Watching the clock anxiously , I called every hour for the information. I am sure that LP was really tired of me. It was important though that they understood they could not charge those hours against my 72. So i began racing against the clock. I called the background agency they used and inquired about the information used to link me the the crimes. JUST MY NAME AND BIRTH DATE! Not my social security number. My social - the number LP shouted at me, saying i had verified the information, was never used in the background process.

Following the exact procedures of the agency- meant a 10 days open-to-close time frame. Keep in mind that is only business days too, so my time is burning and my hands are now tied. I have called everyone i can think of calling, sent information here there and everywhere, and now i am sitting waiting to get fired just because NOTHING will be back to justify me on time?! um NO. I happen to be a retired attorney's daughter and pretty strong willed as well, so i wasn't exactly okay with just sitting and waiting before the firing squad.

My store manager was AMAZING. She believed me throughout the whole process and gave the names and numbers i needed to get into contact with Human Resources( in the company it is called something different but clearly that can't be stated). After calling my regional HR person @ about 3 pm i had lost almost all hope. It was day two and almost the end of my 72 hours.  Then at 6:30pm the regional HR person calls me-- from her cell phone. She wanted to be sure that i didn't feel forgotten. There were questions she needed me to answer so that she was sure what questions to research the following day. SHE CALLED ME AFTER BUSINESS HOURS ON HER OWN TIME.

  1.  Thankful for two women that understood it wasn't just a job. This was my name and possibly my retail work option eliminated. They cared about me as a person.
I frequently emailed my manager about the status of the process and now this is day 3, the end of the dreaded time frame. My phone rings and it is the RHRL (Regional Human Resources Liaison- not sure if that is her official in store title but that is what we will call her). She tells me she isn't sure why in the world my social hadn't been used to verify the information before calling me to place me on probation, and why the time limit of 72 hours is given when it takes 7-10 days to resolve it through their private contractor. So in short she gave me all the time i needed to resolve the issue.

Let me stop for a minute and say that typically when they collar someone-- it is accurate. The employee doesn't fight the charges because they were just hoping nobody found them out. So when i began disputing this thing i caught many of he corporate people of guard. My aggression combined with legal advice made them very uncomfortable. If this had not turned out in my favor (because none of it was accurate) i could have dragged a monster lawsuit out-- but that wasn't something they were familiar handling on a day-to-day basis. This situation was sticky and they handled me as little as possible and with kid gloves.

Checking in regularly with both the background agencies, and my store manager plus keeping my dad informed of any progress was exhausting. I wasn't sleeping well, and i was angry when the $6 pay check hit my account.

          2. Thankful that God is bigger. The day i got a $6 paycheck, i also received my first          church check for a month's worth of work due to a direct deposit hiccup. It was His subtle way of  telling me He was still in control-- of ALL of it!

That very same day I called the agency and my case had been closed. My status had been updated to "hire-able". While i sat in the car pool line, my store manager called and very calmly asks me what i have been up to that day and asks if i have heard anything from higher up. Then drops the bomb.....


" I just got off the phone with my DM and I get to put you back on the schedule!" Seriously could have jumped out of my car and shouted at everyone else in the line! It was an amazing moment! I called my dad, my mom, --Joel was in meetings so i didn't even attempt to call him- and my sister. I texted my small group leader that has been praying with me, and my friend who texted me daily asking if i was still a criminal lol.

I WAS FREE!!! Wasn't I always free? Why was i living in fear of this thing not coming out in my favor?! I didn't commit these crimes, why wasn't i sure about the outcome?

Well when you are pinned with something like this, it begins to defeat you in such a way that you think maybe, just maybe you aren't supposed to have a job with these people because you aren't up to par.  I am an excellent sales person-- if that sounded proud, it was supposed too. I am really good at what i do. Customers come first and the personality God gave to me is perfect for retail environments.

          3. Eternally grateful that He never is done molding me.

As a parent my children will come to me feeling defeated. They might get to a place of feeling broken. How better equipped to deal with those dark places am i now?! I spent a night or two in "Hotel self pity".  This experience taught me so much.

My Husband was behind me 110%. After the initial accusations he just held me and told me he was sorry that after asking me to go back to work this is what i had gotten. He rejoiced with me when it was over and was equally excited when i had three schedules making life crazy again.

Both of my store managers were very supportive. I obviously had to notify my other manager in case this grew into something bigger -- but knowing that i had passed their background check made it easier to stomach. She scheduled me as many hours as possible trying to make up for the other loss in income. Then the store manager that never lost faith in me. She directed me to the right contacts and continually encouraged me telling me how much she wanted me to be on her TEAM.

Having parents that knew i had been a little wild as a teen but never doubting my potential as an adult. They stood fast with me as i battled through this 15 day hell.

Finally overly assured that our move to Savannah continues to prove a right fir for us. The friends God has put in my path are nothing but supportive. These people know only what i have shared in our brief time here, have only a few months worth of interactions with me and were nothing but faithful to me. The couple that had my kids while i was being accused that day, ordered pizza and laughed as we all teased about my criminal activity. They could have nervously shooed me out the door!!!

Thank you to all of you that prayed this journey through with me and Thank you to My Heavenly Father who chose my parents, my husband and my great kids. Lexi told me yesterday that she sure was glad i wasn't a criminal anymore! :) These are the moments i live for. The times God gives me to teach my children and He continues to teach me.

There was an incredible discussion about the age of accountablity that stemmed from all of this in my little family.... but that is another blog for another day :)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I sort my kids outfits for the week into gallon size ziploc bags (the ones with the sliding zipper) complete with socks underwear and hair accessory. This helps a few different ways.
  • There is no discussion in the morning when you are heading somewhere on a time schedule
  • Not franticly looking for a piece to an outfit with screaming children
  • If someone had an accident yesterday, you grab a new bag of clothes to replenish your diaper bag stash
  • Helps dad participate in the dressing on a morning we are all headed somewhere and eliminates the "where are the..." discussions
  • Makes packing for a trip super easy! the mind set is already established to grab an outfit and what makes a "bag". Then on the trip the older kids can grab a bag that says their name and dress themselves with out making a mess of the suitcase!
  • I have the bags in a weekly organizer that i got from "lillianvernon.com" that hangs in my closet. So the outfits are readily accessible while i am getting ready too. A "sweater sorter" for the closet would serve the same purpose.
I monogram or label EVERYTHING! not just because i am obsessed-- but because with four little people things need to be clearly marked! Luke is able to identify his name at three because he sees it all the time. I ordered the rubber sippy cup/sports bottle labels from www.inchbug.com that not only have the kids names but are color coded as well. So the night before i make sippy cups/travel cups with milk for the ride to school. The kids know which one is theirs and can pic it from the fridge on the way out. This is a huge help!

We have recently gotten to the point that luke can wear underwear when we go places. This was ok as long as he never noticed the difference between the men's room and the ladies' room. After going with daddy a few times he has learned that there is a boy on one door and a "gurr" on the other one. Taking advantage of this since i have two of each gender i have sorted the socks by girls vs boys. Joel isn't really pleased with Luke picking pink socks out before church so this eliminates that problem. I printed (in powerpoint using clip-art) a "slide" that says BOYS SOCKS and then have a mens restroom emblem and a picture of socks. Even the non readers can identify these-- i made one for "grrs" and one for boys.


The girls are close to being able to share shoes, and the boys aren't really good at putting their shoes anywhere they can ever be found again. So we had 1 shoe bucket by the back door that shoes were supposed to go into immediatly after entering the house. That worked for a while, but everytime I went looking for a certain pair there was only one. So then we got two buckets and shoes werent allowed upstairs. Now we have FOUR buckets-- and guess what?! Yep, they are labeled! Each child has a bucket that not only has their name on it, but is printed in "their" color, and has a clip art photo of the shoes they have ( as close as i can get, i also made these in power point with clip art). This made a HUGE difference!

The bookcase that houses our shoe buckets by the back door also has a bucket ( I use plastic file totes, that also have the option of stacking- in case the need to serve another purpose later-- you know like to hold files :) that is labeled "snacks to go". This box has granola bars, cheez-its that i have pre-bagged, popcorn in tupperware containers etc. If i am going to a drs appt i will pack a grocery bag of just snacks. i use them as entertainment-- well and bribery. Next to the bucket is a case of Horizon chocolate milk boxes ( that have a six month self life and dont have to be refrigerated) so i can grab milk and snacks quickly when packing. Time saving STAR for sure!

With four kids, well visits, school calendars and my own work schedule i had to come up with a way to have it all but not carry 80 bags. If you have ever seen me you know i carry a purse-- most likely HUGE-- and each of my kids have a back pack or a GIANT diaper bag that probably is over stuffed and wont zip! However, when i go to the pediatrician I will need FOUR insurance cards, Four shot records and Four co-pays. So i have an envelope size expandafile for all things medical. the expandafile comes with little labels and i have each child a slot for their items. This is also great if you make a shot visit and they give you a paper for each child's shots. You can file them in that childs slot and know which child could run into which shot related symptom later.  I also have an expandafile with their college savings info in it, and empty one for travel documents when we all travel together.

I am soon planning on posting a few of my how to travel with four toddlers tricks but tonight i must sleep!