Powerful

I want to share a song with you. This is " Fall Apart" by Josh Wilson

Why in the world did I think I could Only get to know you when my life was good? When everything just falls in place The easiest thing is to give you praise Now it all seems upside down 'Cause my whole world is caving in But I feel you now more than I did then How can I come to the end of me But somehow still have all I need? God I want to know you more Maybe this is how it starts I find you when I fall apart Blessed are the ones who understand They've got nothing to bring but empty hands Nothing to hide and nothing to prove Our heartbreak brings us back to you And it all seems upside down 'Cause my whole world is caving in But I feel you now more than I did then How can I come to the end of me But somehow still have all I need? God I want to know you more Maybe this is how it starts I find you when I fall apart I don't know how long this will last I'm praying for the pain to pass But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me 'Cause my whole world is caving in But I feel you now more than I did then How can I come to the end of me But somehow still have all I need? God I want to know you more Maybe this is how it starts I find you when-- You will find me when-- I fall apart Just so you know this font is "Georgia" I also want to share with you how this week has been personally. Yesterday i told you about kindergarten, and really it is probably a blessing to be distracted. My cousin Stephanie sent me this song yesterday on my way home from dropping lex off. Being kid-less I blared it all the way home! It fits me to a T right now. I was so plugged in that i was almost lost in my "service" before i moved here. Serving is such a blessing to me that i would volunteer for EVERYTHING that i could, because i enjoyed every minute of it. Sometimes after being home all day with my kids i looked forward to the meetings, or the rehearsals.... but i was ignoring my husband. If we "hung out" on the weekends it was with groups of friends that had kids the age of our kids. Again that is something i loved so i never saw the down fall. My friends and Bible study gals almost knew more about me than the person that vowed to spend the rest of his life with me. So submersed in what i thought being a christian was that i lost sight of exactly where i stood with my Father. Through the Bible studies I learned tons of Bible knowledge and leading kids worship put me in the word in a way i had never experienced -- you wanna be able to answer any question they throw atcha! But I wasn't waking up craving His words. My desire wasn't to just sit and soak Him in. I didn't know that my husband was craving this Awesome Bible knowledge i was learning--- i was completely lost. I was lost in what i thought was the best spiritual place i had ever been. Moving here and screaming at God night after night and month after month has shown me that i am now Closer to HIM than i have ever been. Not having any close friends here has brought me back to being best friends with the one God gave me to spend my life with. God never promised life would be easy, and He most certainly didn't promise that every step of it would be "happy".  Heb 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. He hasn't left me and in my wallowing the last 18 months i have learned more about His faithfulness than i could have imagined. Three weeks ago i was giving the opportunity to M. C. VBS at my home church. During two nights specifically, i was over come with the spirit. I was supposed to be there speaking His words... because they were meant for me. Hearing others say it, it's always easier to dismiss because "they don't know where i am ". Saying it to kids, with a passion from Christ, makes it a whole lot harder to blow off. God is watching me. The way He watched Jonah and knew when the whale would spit him out. Where did the whale spit him out? Right where God wanted him. God was in control the whole time. Today i sit in a different place. A place i reached by going home and trying to get lost in what used to be. You know what? What used to be isn't anymore. Relationships are different and life has moved on. Thankfully I am still lovingly embraced each time i "go home" and it will always be that way because of incredible Godly people He put in my path. They each hold a special place in my heart. Every summer will have a camp week and if it works out a VBS... but my life continues HERE...

ADVERTISEMENT