The dynamic around here changed by what some would consider a small adjustment; I mean what is one more. Oh, you've got jokes?!
Haley moved here roughly six weeks ago. I have been through 5 years of these Gonser kids who have claimed my heart, but this one will redefine me.
Across the table, Alexis is writing a short story about a young child training for a war. The story seems to be along the hungry games story line, but is interestingly my life currently.
Rewind to August 27, Calebs 16th Birthday. I took Alexis and Lorelei to the dentist. Caleb of course tagged along to get a drs note so he could skip on his birthday. I pull out of the middle school and receive a call from the High School. "Mrs Gonser? Are you close by the school? Can you come right now?"
I am then informed that Haley is in the nurses office and had vaped something. What we aren't sure, but we are confident she is sick, very sick. What is scariest is that she DID NOT KNOW what it was she ingested. Scarier still is that the next two hours she got higher and then crashed. If you are judging us as parents now, fine, but heed the rest of this because I promise your kids have sat next too or used a vape. 4/6 of my kids see a vape or sit next to a student vaping every day. On a school bus, in a school bathroom, or sneaking out to a school parking lot to an unknown students car.
When "Luke" talks about screaming and gnashing of teeth, I am certain I can begin to imagine that because I have teenagers. Bedrooms are a privilege, taken. Hide a bed sleeping indefinitely. Social life= none. We are in counseling, had eye appointments, have dental work scheduled, new retainers ordered (she chewed through them), psychiatric evals and the list goes on. Her number one request is to lay in my bed and watch Napoleon Dynamite. She misses her mom like crazy. Spills her guts sometimes like projectile word vomit. Fire inside her is so intense sometimes you must get burned to find the point of ignition.
10 days of suspension, with a hefty potential of heading to the alternative school. Both of us were crushed. There were tears and plenty of gut wrenching conversations as we plotted the what ifs to come. We prayed. I prayed. Her small group leaders prayed. Her youth pastors prayed. She shouted and pleaded with us all to take it from her. Owning her actions was one thing, but facing the somewhat sealed fate was almost unbearable. Suspension, Hurricane, Lack of Hurricane, lead us to the hearing we had dreaded.
The hearing officer saw my face and quietly acknowledged shopping in my store and sharing stories about our kids for many moons. Gentle peace. The spunky Blonde that was the AP in charge of our case smiled boldly each time Haley struggled to speak with courage. Confidence almost flooded across the table into Haley's lap, and she commented later on how calming it was. Adjourning for the decision recess felt eternal. Crying in the waiting room, we decided that no matter the outcome, we would be ok.
Floating would be the best way to describe finding myself back in the conference room. "Listen to me very clearly, I am adding 10 days to your suspension." Suspension means back to the HIGH SCHOOL! The officer was very clear but very peaceful. She spoke in a way Haley would not only understand, but also process and carry those words with her. Firm rules and contracts to uphold, but a challenge in learning coping skills and proper friend choices ahead.
Rounding out my Tuesday was an Email from Caleb's teachers because he has 4 F's. Chasing that email into the mailbox was Luke's teacher remarking on his refusal to comply.
"Mom? Can you gel my hair tomorrow?" "Oh! Can I have a high pony?" "Wait! Mom its homecoming can you wash my wildcat shirt?"
Yes. Yes I can. I am all in. What ever that means. Promise me that when we wake up tomorrow we can smile full of joy and rejoice that today is done.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
