Teach me your ways, OH LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I will fear your name.

Psalm 86:11

I will be your God throughout your lifetime until your hair is white in age. I made you, and I will care for you. I willI will be your God throughout your lifetime until your hair carry you along and save you.

Isaiah 46:4




Blessed is the man whose quiver is full.... Psalm 127:5


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.


Proverbs 3:5-6




Friday, March 16, 2012

My cup is full

We jokingly call Lorelei "henny".

Simply because her aspirations to "mother" her sibling sometimes even end in her harming them-- but she must have her hand in everything they do... Or comment on it... Or yank the hair brush from your hand because you aren't doing it right... Or throw your shoe across the room because it isn't the pair she chose for you to wear.

She is a constant adventure! You never know what mood she will be in or where she like you on any given day until she has given you her instructions for your day. Needless to know the drill sergeant in me and this precious child of mine clash A LOT!

Recently this daughter of mine proclaimed to Joel that when she grows up she wants nothing more than to be a mommy. He asked her again on a night when I was home and she beamed at me with delight and again announced "I want to be a mommy"!!!

Tonight after a miserable sleep study I came home to find every one I bed, joel sleeping- the kids laying in their beds and watching tv. Lorelei had a little Logan sleeping in the crook of her arm and she whispered to me.. "I scooped him up and snuggled him to sleep, I will just hold him tonight while daddy rests". I moved Logan to his bed and kissed them each goodnight. As I ran dishes and started laundry I thanked God for my sweet girl. She has faults and attitude and Lordy does she push my buttons. She also loves with her whole heart. When she carries Logan down my wooden stairs it is to help me and save me steps not to scare me to death.

When Joel stumbled out of our room tonight worried I hadn't made it home he found me amidst a mountain of laundry that needed to be folded. He inquired about my night and asked why I wasn't in bed. My response? I am basking in being a mommy. Folding laundry and dishes isnt the most glorious part of my job but it gives me time to reflect on each of them. I shared the story of how I found Lorelei And logan when I got home and he smiled and said all she wants Is too be a mommy. I said I think she will be a pretty darn good one!

His response... "because she has a good example"

I said what does that mean?

He made some awkward face and said "you are a good mommy, and she wants to be just like you"

Then he stumbled back to bed and has no idea that I am still sitting her basking in that moment. That moment that will carry me for weeks. At this rate i may be folding laundry until I go to work in the morning just never wanting this moment to end :)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Who?

not much has changed in my house, but our spirits are more calm.

Working for both of us is mind bending. I really enjoy the contact with new faces each day and having adult interaction-- mainly the inner pride i get from being able to balance it all. Joel enjoys what he does but constantly struggles to not bring the stress home and not let his mind be consumed with work.

trying to be sure and meet his needs has become a pressing priority for me. As a new mom--almost all of  us fall into this-- we focus on making sure these precious creatures God had entrusted to us are cared for like He would expect us too. This for me meant ignoring my husband. We ate- but he cooked most of the time. (SN he is an amazing cook, sometimes its better that he cooks lol) Clothes were clean but probably in a laundry basket that he was digging thru the morning before work. He isn't the type to lay things out before and be sure everything is ready for the next day. Very different from me. I pack for a trip two weeks before we are leaving--Packing is in the works as we speak-- but he packs the night before. So it is my job to be a step ahead. Always be sure underwear and socks are neatly in his drawer and that clean jeans are hung in the closet. His shirts get dry cleaned so i don't mess them up, and i will admit i am not always good about picking them up timely!

This has made a huge difference for us. Yes i do have four kids. Yes they are all at an age where the require a good bit of pre-planning on my part-- but they also stay home with him 5 nights out of seven. That alone changed the dynamic so much in my house that it called for major changes. Time together became scarce, so now we do something outside of our house when i am off, even if it is a Tuesday. If we are limited to our activities availability then we watch one hour of tv with the kids, then one hour of tv just us. Baths done, stories read, and kisses given-- but now our foundation should be cemented.

My kids are the most amazing gifts i have ever received. Joel however is the one whom i have committed to spend my life with, a covenant that we committed to in front of The Father who gave me those children. It is first my biblical duty to be his wife and we are to parent together.

Something else we had to learn. I have always been the constant but he was the heavy. Now we have to make absolutely sure that even if i only have time to type a text or send a quick email that we are in touch about everything with the kids. There has to be complete shared parenting so there are no cracks. Lexi didn't bring her library book home last week. They are tested each week on their comprehension of their weekly choice. After i asked her about the book she told me she read it and tested before she brought the book home. Book reading is something she and i do in the afternoons so i am sure it doesn't get lost in the evening shuffle-- I dropped the ball. Joel never knew it was missing because he didn't know to look for it-- i dropped the ball again. Sight words are in a baggie taped to the back door so i grab them and run thru them every morning on the way to school-- but he also goes thru them at night with her, because he knows too. He can only team parent when i am open about my game plans. He says all the time that he can't read my mind, and it is a big part of my job to be sure and tell him exactly what is on it-- in a nice way of course lol.

i am a note leaver-- i think i have mentioned that before but i even leave notes to Lexi now-- like "you are grounded" on her tv! I think she is now old enough to be accountable for some things. But Joel isn't good about distributing the kids energy(which can make a night way more stressful than it needs to be!) , so i leave them notes about what i expect from them. Joel of course has to read these notes but also elaborates on the tasks at hand. Gives him the authority--gives them a constructive way to spend energy-- and keeps the peace in my house.

working has giving us a whole new sense of unity and "team". Joel and i are a team but it is equally important to make sure that the kids are team players as well. if i really live as though it is solely our responsibility to do it all, i am raising children prepared not for the world they live in. Joel grew up getting dinner started and helping around the house-- i think it is important that we find age appropriate ways for our kids to do the same. It is also very fitting i think to take away things that are not cared for properly. period the end. you don't care for it then you don't need it, until you are willing to carry out the proper care.---- if it is on the floor two days in a row, you must not care about it. the trash man would probably take really nice care of it. Of course i don't always throw it away but it gives them a little better perspective.

all of this was just to say thank you to all of you who tell me how kind my kids are and how you don't know how i do it. Truth is i do it just like you do! one day at a time, one hurdle at a time... routine is key, not getting bogged down in what doesn't work and finding something that does. My kids are changing everyday-- so we are all going to need to change and tweak everyday.

That means grounding my marriage and strapping it down so tight that no matter what the changes are we stay intact. That also means teaching my kids that having a sound marriage very much impacts how they grow up. That they are very important to us  but that we want their marriages to strive to be even stronger than ours and that means having some mommy and daddy time!

recently a friend told me that they missed their husband. The husband that still comes home from work each night and shares dinner with her. Ladies we can't let this happen to us! we must continue to guard our marriages from an easy foot hold for Satan. These precious bundles God gives us can become a wonderful blessing to our marriage or we can let them dominate so much of us that we no longer know the men we are across the tables from!

Father i ask that you lift each of us up, and carry us through this season of our lives. Some struggle solo right now because of situations beyond our control. Lord please constantly remind us that we are not alone! That you are here in each moment and that you are always actively placing people in our lives to walk with us thru these times.

God i ask that you would encourage us to make a daily connection with these men you have chosen for us. To daily pray for your guidance in their lives, and to give us strength to support the decisions they make in you.

Thank you father for these amazing blessing you have bestowed on us in our children, I pray for continued and renewing strength each day to raise them as you would have us.

In Your Son's name we pray, AMEN