Atlas...

Rewind ten years to senior english class (no one roll your eyes that i have only been out of high school ten years)... we were reading Greek Mythology. I am confident that although my mom put tabs on the chapters and bought the cliff notes-- I didn't read it. That wasn't my style... i was WAY to cool for that. HAHA

However, now that it is up to me to chose a book... i keep pulling that tabbed golden book of mythical characters out.

I applied for part-time, seasonal jobs today. Several at the mall, Target and a few local places here in my town.

By sun down i was exhausted. Over-whelmed to put it in even clearer words. Planning to go to work at all, part time or not means extensive work and preperation. Making a schedule so strict that anyone can walk in and handle it, writing out what goes in the lunch box, slimming down the night routine to the necessities... and so on.

Joel and I have danced around this every way we know how. He makes an incredible living. God has blessed us in serious ways. We have overcommmited ourselves. Which leads me here.

i would love to take in a an extra child. I hear you all gasping now. Lexi being in school opens up a spot in my house lol. Lorelei has a new "friend"-- she apparently goes many places with her "friend", but joel and i havent met her... she doesnt really exist. Sweet girl is lonely. So an extra kid would be a nice change of pace for her!

Even an after school extra would fill the gap.

I feel a bit like Atlas tonight. Wieght of the world on my shoulders. I want to help my husband loosen the purse strings. i need to be the "constant" in my kids lives.

Ironically Atlas was also known as the god that instructed mankind in astrology, a tool that was used by sailors for navigation. Navigation... direction for their path. Can you feel where this is going?

We chose a verse two weeks ago to learn as a family(Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths) Lexi learned it quickly, because she is excellent with memorization. Lorelei got it just  tonight. Could it be that He was subtley trying to remind me He is in control?

I googled the Atlas referrence to be sure that i recanted the story correctly. While i was looking up a fictional story about "the gods", my GOD yanked on my heart and reminded me He was still here. Really that He had never left. Georgia was all His plan. This house was all God. Yes we have made some smaller decisions without prayfully considering them and that has come back to bite us in the butt; more importantly we have learned from it. Each application i picked up today i stopped and prayed at the door of the store. I am not sure if this is "right". It doesn't feel right, but nothing that is new feels instantly perfect. God however KNOWS what is right. Already. I can faithfully fill out applications and turn them all in and still get no call backs. If that is the case i will have to believe that it wasn't in His plan. I heard my husband pray "for His will in my job situation" for the first time tonight. Neither one of us are good at leaving it to Him. We both would like to see how things are going to improve, and NOW.  He is teaching us.

If you tell God you want to live in Houston forever He moves you to Georgia. SO we have learned not to suggest things to the Master Planner.

The story of Atlas also involves Hercules. We commonly know of Hercules as being almighty and incredibly strong. Well Hercules was on a quest for golden apples, and Atlas knew where they were. So Hercules-The almighty and incredibly strong- took the weight of the world onto his shoulders while Atlas went out and found the LOST apples.

I believe that THE ALMIGHTY AND INCREDIBLY STRONG will soon take the weight of the world from my shoulders and allow me to save the lost. I believe that He has great plans for me that are not confined to monotary value. I Know he wants me to be 110% involved in my kids lives and be the calm at home for my husband. How can this all work?  Does it all fit into one picture? Am I misunderstanding?

Father please show me the fleece.

Then Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said, 37 behold, I am laying a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece alone, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said.” And it was so. Judges 6:36-38