Marvelous Grace

Where do I even begin? This has been the fastest, make you wanna vomit and cry at the same time roller coaster i have ever been on.

If i can ever spare a parent this fear i would take all of it for each and every one of them. Fearing for your child's life is somewhere a parent should never be. Then hearing the story evolve each time you tell it, changing as it emerges from the nurses floor to floor...

At one point my child had been swimming while i was inside my house.

So here it is. What really happened.

Joel, the kids and I were swimming in our neighborhood pool, and had been there about 45 minutes. A friend (that moved here from Houston with us as well) and his son were swimming with us. Luke had declared he was done swimming so he was sitting on the side with Joel.  Logan began to stir so Joel sat on the top step of the pool with Logan and they were splashing away. Mr mischief wandered down to the deep end, where i met him and reprimanded him for wandering around the pool with no swim arms on. Mad at me, he wandered back to where Joel was sitting and i went back to playing with the girls. My sweet husband remembers about 15 minutes that he was playing with Logan in the water before Luke fell. So somewhere after Joel got Logan out of his seat, after i fought with Luke at the deep end and he wandered back to Joel then did he slip into the pool. He was under maybe a minute before i got to him. I don't know if he fell, or if he was on the steps and slipped. There were THREE adults in the pool. All of us constantly doing a head count.

I pulled him out and shook him around a bit to rouse him, and then Joel and i traded because Luke was so heavy. Water erupted from him followed by some mucus. While laying on Joel's lap horizontally, Luke threw up again... more water at the same projectile force. Limp, and lifeless is what came next. Fear then took a hold of us both. He and I are both CPR certified, we knew the water needed to come out... now what. Luke was very sleepy and couldn't really communicate. I remembered that head injuries couldn't sleep... did he have a head injury? Had he hit his head before he fell in? I didn't know... panic... Panic quickly followed Fear.

We live quite a ways off the beaten path so going to the hospital was a long drive so the fire station was the quickest way to get help. It is a tiny volunteer fire station but either way we hoped they knew more about where we stood. Turns out there weren't many guys on duty, but 1 Paramedic and The ambulance driver. Assuming the worst with out asking us many questions and thru us into the bus and we were off. Well we left after the driver smoked a cigarette and we roused the paramedic. Joel was slightly ticked. Having never ridden in an ambulance before- at least never remembering a ride- it was crazy for me. We were going way to fast than what felt safe and watching him stick my baby a second time in a effort to get an iv was less than pleasant. However, my sweet red head screeched in pain. It was a beautiful sound. He sounded like he had life. He sounded like he had fight!

Arriving at the hospital they assessed him and we settled in for what seemed like the long hall. Patiently telling me what was up ahead, and what to watch for... they prepared us it would get worse before it got better.  This included jumps and random muscle spasms, and screaming melt downs as his nerves "cooled", and the adrenaline passed.

Moving to ICU was bittersweet because only two of us were allowed in the room and our dear sweet "small group family" went home. They were such a blessing. Dinner, toiletries for our overnight stay, snacks AND COKE! Words can't explain how grateful we were for them... well how grateful we still are for them.

Meanwhile back at my house Brent had held down the fort while a small group couple with a 6 yr old whisked the girls away to play barbies, my mom was en route and then later packing us an over night bag, random people popping in to gather items like wallets, shot records, and phone chargers while they headed to the hospital.

ICU was uneventful. Passing the kids there tat waited at deaths door made me so glad we had a spry red head still in our midst. I praised HIM in the quiet. The ICU rules say that only one parent can stay over night, so at 10:30 the nurse walks quickly into our room and says i hate to do this but... LET'S MOVE! She had scored u a room upstairs with a parent bed and rules allowing us to both to stay by our sweet boy.

the night was sleepless but peaceful. Each time Luke stirred something beeped or blared or flashed. Joel slept the first shift and i did the second. I had downed at least three cokes by then so i was pretty hot, sleep wasn't next on my list any way.

We were discharged this morning about 11:30. It was a great relief.

I received 267 facebook notification emails and over 100 text messages in the first 5 hours I was in the hospital. Being on new meds crying is hard for me. I wanted it yesterday as a release and you guys brought down the water works. I read each of your individual comments, wall posts and even the "status" posts on our behalf. I wept in the night as i read you uplifting words. From "a hero mom friend of mine" to "you are super woman" to "Jesus is rocking you all". Your words- given to you by the Father i am confident- reminded me of who was in control.

He didn't want me sweet boy to fall, but He knew it would happen. Brent was supposed to be at he pool with us. My small group leader was supposed to be at church in a meeting with pastoral staff and prayer warriors (70+ that stopped and prayed RIGHT THEN), my ped's nurse picking up a shift in the PICU... so on and so on. If i listed every way that i saw GOD yesterday this post would end. Because HE NEVER CEASES TO SHOW UP... IN BIG WAYS.

I received a special visit from a nurse friend "with special privileges" :), and a friend stopped by today to check in on us. Dinner offers came out of the woodwork and people i didn't even know prayed for my precious Luke. I don't have enough vocabulary to fully express my gratitude. i would hug each of your necks. I will lift you up in prayer for ever, some of you never knowing your names. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


"Grace, Grace, God's Grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, Grace Gods grace, Grace that is greater than all my sin

Sin and despair like the arctic cold threaten the soul with permanent loss, but Grace that is greater
 Yes grace untold
points to my refuge, that mighty cross

Grace grace God's grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace God's grace grace that is greater than all my sin"

God's Grace

It is by God's Grace alone that my grouchy, mischievous red head escaped that terror yesterday. Thank you for crying out to the Mighty Healer with me. You are my friends, my prayers partners and the encourager's thru my journey. Thank you for walking with me. Thank you for praying with me. Thank you for lifting us up. Thank you for encouraging me as i strive to be a better mom and be more like Him.

Grace. Remember He loves you. Remember He gives us grace.